Saturday, December 22, 2001  11:38 pm  <|>
<121> Time tested trust: I am home... that is, back in New Jersey for winter break. Shell shock? Not really that bad I suppose. Am I ready to return to Philadelphia? Of course I am. I've been ready for that since I got home. Sure I want to see my friends at home and it's nice to see my parents for a little bit, but I only need so much at one time, you know? I really didn't write at all in the last month, and it's pointless really to try to catch up on everything I might not have talked about, so I won't even try. In the end though, when all was said and done, and everyone said goodbye to return home to their familes for a time, I wasn't really ready, but no one was. I think out of all of my friends, only a few seem truly glad to be home, even though everyone agrees we all need a break - from class, not each other. Ah, but like I said, it is good to return home for a time... if only I didn't feel homesick being here in New Jersey. It's not that I don't still feel like this place is my home, but I live in my own place now too, a place I'm not at right now, and therefore I am allowed to be homesick. Perhaps it's hard to understand until you really have a place of your own, and I'm not talking about a dorm or anything like that, because that is still a different experience even though then too you are out on your own for the most part. But anyway, I've been home for four full days now and I am definitely homesick and missing my friends, one especially more then the rest you could say... Oh and my final projects went well, including my core studio final. It was based around the area of Philly I live in, and my teacher is from New York, so she really liked that the game was like a learning experience/tool for her, so it was successful I think... now I just have to see what my grade is. In my other classes I think I did pretty well too, but again that remains to be seen when grades come out (and I don't actually know exactly when that is either). Christimas is almost here, just a few more days. I guess I should be looking forward to it, which I am to a point, but I'm sad to say that it doesn't even feel like Christimas time really. I don't know, maybe it's mostly me. Of course I'm looking forward to New Years because a lot of my friends will be returning to Philly for a big party at my place. Not only do I get to see them, but I get to actually do SOMETHING on New Years for once in my life. The last few years I have attempted to have plans that always fell through, but this year they will not so that's comforting. Too bad all of my friends can't make it though. And so I tell myself that there is just a few weeks of break to get through, even though it is technically a month, I am sure I'll return to the city before that month is up as people slowly start returning a week or so early. I don't mean to sound like I have anything against my friends here at home. Seeing my best friend is a plus, and a few of my other close friends here, but for the most part the other people that want to make plans with me.. well that's cool with me, but if I didn't get to see most of these people it wouldn't really phase me too much. That probably sounds horrible, but I think a lot of people in college go through this. You just naturally grow apart from a lot of your "home" friends because you are all in different places, with different people, and different interests and ways of life. You still have some things in common with a select few, but the rest you can take or leave. And you long to be with the people you are used to living with pratically day after day, 24/7 almost. And I have a few more weeks of this? I should be using this time wisely. Less distractions should equal more time to focus on work - my actual job as well as personal projects that I would like to start or expand upon... so maybe I'd better stop complaining about how much I miss Philly and get my act together now.