Thursday, January 10, 2002  12:09 am  <|>
<125> Being the best: What a concept... but if you think about it, everyone is exposed to this desire, at least at some point in their lives. Be the best on the team, the best in the class, the best in life... and how many people actually achieve it? It's not like I've spend any large part of my life trying to be the best at anything really, I guess this topic just popped into my head tonight for some reason. Actually, I'm quite content myself with being just balanced, average old me. Hey, there are worse people to be... Sure, there may be some things I would change, but it is just that - change - that has made my life so much different (and better) in the last year. But I need to stop talking about how great this last year has been, I am sure you are all sick of it by now and I'm pretty positive you got the point after the first few times I mentioned it... so I will stop. In other things though, I am already starting to prepare to pack up and move back to Philly. It's nice having your own place as opposed to the dorms (for many reasons), but especially because you don't have to worry about what day you are allowed to move back or what things you might leave behind, locked in the dorms until they do allow you to return. Granted I've been into my place a few times during break anyway, but it's also been nice not having to pack up my whole life there just to come home for a few weeks. Though, in retrospect, I think I brought home a lot more then I needed too. Definitely too many clothes, I brought home most of them and really I just keep wearing the same things over and over because my mom is so kind as to do my wash while I'm home. So I have all that I gotta bring back now and I only used a few small items that I brought home in the load, but oh well I did use some of it so I guess it's good to be prepared, I'll know a little better next time. I also brought home my entire music collection basically, which is about three big books of cds... now if you don't already know that music is a huge part of my life, I don't know where you've been, but it is and so I felt this was important to have... even though I've only listened to my small cd book: cds I listen to all the time.. but you never know when I'll have the urge to listen to that cd that I haven't listened to in years, so it's always good to take the whole collection when straying from home for long periods of time, right? Otherwise, I guess I didn't pretty good leaving everything else behind when I came home for winter break. Aside from my laptop and a backpack full of misc items and such, everything else I have to bring back for the most part are things that I've obtained in the time that I have been home. I went shopping with my mom yesterday, which as most of you probably know, is often times beneficial. Parents, especially when deprived of time with you for extended periods of time, enjoy getting you a little something when they finally do spend a few hours with you. I feel a little bad about it though, because even though there are things I need to grab while I do happen to be home and it is very nice to have my mom help out in paying for it... especially since I pay for my bills and things at school (and we have plenty of those) and I work but it only goes so far, it's nice to be helped out and treated to extra things sometimes when you have grown accustomed to paying for things for yourself (even when your parents do contribute some spending money now and then, it isn't the same). So I did get a few nice things yesterday, some that I payed for and some that my mother did, but it was a nice shopping experience none the less...

Now I'm just excited about going back to Philly on Tuesday for good for awhile and also excited about getting my new computer together finally. For a large part of my Christmas gift this year I asked my parents and brother to help out a little bit with funds since I was saving up for my new system. I'm putting it together myself, as usual, with a bit of help from my brother - since he tends to be useful with things like this. I'm getting a 1.8 ghz athlon or maybe even a 2.0 ghz, 256 MB RAM, it's going to be a very sweet machine and incredible even more so to me since my current desktop is a 400 mhz pentium II piece of.... I shouldn't insult my poor baby, it's just he's old and needs an upgrade, so he's getting a complete one. The only things staying will be my cd burner (which is only months old anyway), my video card, monitor, and my hard drive of course, but even that is getting added to with a second 60 gig drive (my current is only 12 gig and of course full essentially). I can't wait and actually I should have it all ordered and here by now, but my brother has been busy over the last few days and hasn't had a chance to help me out (he found a good place online and it might also be landing me a discount) Ah, so I have to wait but he really needs to hurry up, because I do want to have this all taken care of before the semester starts and it would be nice to be finished with it even before I go back on Tuesday, but the chances of that happening are becoming less and less with each passing day. Oh well, I WILL be getting it, and that is all that matters. Now I may actually be able to complete all of my class assignments on my desktop (as I prefer) rather then transferring files in the middle of a project to my laptop just to get it completed. I'll finally have the best computer in my place for once (3 multimedia majors equals lovely competition when it comes to that, and it's about my turn I think!!)

So here I am tonight, ready to return to my city life, ready to see where things go this semester and today especially, deciding that everything is going to be alright no matter what. I don't know why exactly, I think it was a combination of things, but today I just decided that things were changing and all for the better. I woke up earlier then usual (for me anyway, considering I'm on winter break and have been sleeping my days away quite a bit so far). A bunch of things took place today, one right after the other basically, that just seemed to be good signs of things to come... at least that is how I am going to take them, and if I'm wrong, too bad, because I'm going to make this year awesome regardless! And maybe I am not the best at everything, but those who know me, know that is not exactly my intention... and that is why I am in the end anyhow...