Friday, May 31, 2002  12:35 am  <|>
<143> So what happens now?: The days are going to continue passing and, just like every summer, the challenge will be not to let too many of them escape attached to little to no productivity of any kind. I mean, yes it's summer, so time off is definitely expected and well deserved, but I just know I can tend to get laze when summer hits as well. Sometimes it sucks to always have work to do, like during most of the year, but then all of a sudden when you're presented with nothing to do, well you either lazy around, complain of boredom, or some lovely combination of them both. I guess this might be where I'd be at too right about now if situations hadn't happened as they did, but all I know is now I want to get things done, make them happen, and have fun while I'm doing it too. Is that really so much to ask? I decided to start working again today (yes I do have one of the best jobs I could ask for). I'd been looking forward to having time to work on it all last semester too when I just had no time ever. Now I do, more than enough to get something really going there, as I should, after all I am the project leader. So we'll see how that goes. Of course this isn't my only project, do I ever only have ONE project going on at once, c'mon it's me!! Well, I already mentioned about the poetry book I'm publishing too. I'm still working on that. It's coming along, still just finishing with some proof and editing of it, plus I gotta do that book cover. That might be easier said than done. Yes, I am a designer and should be able to pull it off, but I really just don't have any good ideas in mind for it yet. But I suppose I will come up with something.

I've been continuing to surf around websites a bit, though that's mostly ended in just inspiring me to want to write and work on my website more for a change. I just don't have a lot of my stuff here, it's mostly on my desktop of course because that is my main computer after all. I'm going to try to stop by my place in Philly tomorrow, though probably only briefly, after dialysis so that I can pick up some things and such. I just realized how long it's really been since I've been back. Not since last Monday, that's almost two more weeks away and ok that was unavoidable when I was in the hospital, but I've been home in NJ and in Philly every other day only about 20 minutes away, so why haven't I been back again? I think it's kind of annoying just to stop in quickly when it's the place I LIVE in. It's MY PLACE and I am being kept away from it. I mean, I know if I absolutely had to go there I could, but my parents still don't want me to live there and according to my doctors the extent of taking it easy they still wouldn't even have me walking up the my own steps to my room in my house here, so I dunno. I want normalness back but I am not sure what that is at this point, because no matter what things have changed forever and I wonder if it'll ever be the way it was again (or if it ever should again). There are so many factors to consider and time plays a major role at this point too (as it always does) so I don't know, I'm just rambling, don't worry, I'm aware of this.

Oh, I decided on my next toy to lust after. I want an external hard drive. I'm currently looking at this one, but that will probably change because I've been looking at different options and models all day and changed my mind many a time. If anyone has any good suggestions for me, please feel free to let me know. All I know for sure is I want a slim, light 80GB drive, ideally with firewire AND USB options, but I'm finding this to be impossible. I know firewire should be better, but then I'm going to have to buy firewire cards for both my laptop and desktop, so if I get USB even though it can be slower I'll be able to use it basically on any computer without worrying if it'll work on the computer or not. Who doesn't have USB over firewire, or is that just my inner PC self talking? I just foresee it being less problems to get a drive using USB, I dunno. We'll see. But I really mean it, suggestions are most welcomed because I don't know much about these drives at all.

As for an allergy update, the cough let up today though it had its moments. Now my nose is starting to be stuffy again, which isn't fun, but I guess its in the process of getting better. Now my side hurts, which is normal for me right now I guess, but it's rather annoying to sit in this chair with it hurting like this. Grrr... I always have something to complain about don't I? A couple people went out of their way today to give me less to complain about though. Brian was sweet enough to send me a really pretty bunch of flowers with a teddy bear attached today. The bear is still sitting on my desk, thanks Brian! James also made a point to IM me and introduce himself today along with some kind words. Sometimes people amaze me with their random kindness, they really do. Just thought it deserved mentioning. Ahh, so surprise surprise, it's getting late again. Where does all the time go? I'm actually tired, so I think I will finish up and go to bed. I have to get up early anyway as it is Friday. More to come soon though, looks like I really am back now.