Wednesday, July 31, 2002  10:46 pm  <|>
<154> Such a day: Well, my day didn't go quite as planned, but I'll tell you this much I came to some discoveries today and I won't bore you with all of it, but they were certainly important to me. I feel like my eyes were opened up to something that was always there right in front of me, maybe something I always knew a little bit, but never fully saw until today when it all just became clear at once. It's hard to explain, I know I'm being vague, but all you really need to know is that this could change some things... and if it does I'm sure I'll let you know.

Last night I was driving my car home from my best friends house, something I've done a million times before. But there is this one back road which you can take where you usually won't have to see another car for its stretch, enjoying high beams on, windows down, music playing... in the warm months it has always been something I like to do when I take this road to turn off the AC just briefly and roll down the windows. It's great to take in the sounds and smells that can only go along with such a back road in the suburbs. This reminded me just how long it had been since I'd done this before, since I haven't been home much and not really driving when I am. I dunno, it was nice and it made me miss the ways of home just a little bit in that moment.

The big news today in Philadelphia is a new Center City Rapist. This is concerning to people, especially me, a woman who happens to live in Center City only about 6 blocks from the apartment where two women were raped this morning. It's scary to live anywhere and I try not to walk late at night by myself, but this is a time to be extra careful. I think I'll go ahead and buy that mace for real this time instead of just saying I'm going to... So some things came up today which kept me from going into Philly tonight, but I will be there tomorrow for the day and then for the rest of the weekend too hopefully. I have a lot of things on my mind lately, some more pressing than others I suppose. There are some things I've been putting off for a long time now and I really should see to it that I go through with them, but will I is the real question? I'll tell you one thing, the uncertainly of the outcome is enough to make me look for any signs that tell me to hold off (which there have been on more than one occasion in the past...) but I have a feeling things must come out sooner or later. Besides, if the outcome is good then it may just be what I need right now. One can only hope. I know I could certainly use a dose of time when things just started to go my way, so maybe that time is now, or at least soon, because I'm sick of holding my breath...