Monday, October 11, 2004  9:55 pm  <|>
<190> We wake to find: Entries so few and far between these days... I know I know. My digital life has turned into a real one - I suppose I am half sorry for that, not because I don't love my "regular" life, but because I do miss those who I was able to know through this journal. Sharing my life is a part of me, it has been for all of my teen life and most of my adult life too. Now at 22, I look back on those early years of online life... sharing every part of my being, my interests, my thoughts, my feelings... even my room with who knows how many thousands of passers by. I enjoyed it all for the most part and there is a part of me that misses that simpler time. Looking back on my life then, I know I never could have imagined where exactly I would be now. Sure there are things I would do differently if I had to do it all over again with the knowledge I have now, who wouldn't have some things they'd like to change... but at the same time I wouldn't want to change a thing because if I did I wouldn't be where I'm at now at all. Actually I think I might have quite a different life... so many turns I might have taken rather than the ones that I did. It's hard to imagine the possibilities really. But then again, you might be from the school of thought who believes that nothing would be different, because nothing could have changed. If so you are a fatalist and one that I've never fully been able to understand, but I do respect the idea. I like to believe I hold a little choice in life, as very small as it may be. I do believe in fate, but we are all handed fate, it is destiny that we guild ourselves I think. I know that the former goes against the very definition of "destiny" to some, but not to me... but then again I've always been one to take things differently than many others would take things. Oh, anyway....

Life is pretty decent right now. It's almost like parts of me are being reawakened in a sense. I'm spending more time in front of my computers again, more time online... I've even signed on to AIM a couple times. Man, I used barely go a day without going online, talking to friends on AIM and even making new friends... but now it seems like I just don't have the time or I guess I have other things I have to / want to do. So what's been going on with me? Well, I'm still working at the same place. I technically got a promotion, but in title only. We downsized A LOT because my company (a corporate real estate company) sold most of its buildings. We went from over 100 to about 25 people... and yes I'm one of the stayers. I was their "Research & Marketing Assistant" but being that the women who I took over her position because she had a baby decided not to come back and share the position (which is good because had she I bet I would have been the one of the two to go due to seniority on her part alone) I remained the sole person in charge of the company research and ad design. However, I did answer to the VP of Marketing & Development, but with the downsizing she was let go and went to work for the company that bought our buildings (as did a lot of people who used to work at my company actually) so now I'm solely in charge of the Marketing Department... with this comes the title "Director of Research & Marketing" - sounds fancy, doesn't it? Well, with it too does come a lot more responsibility... don't get me wrong. It's great experience and it feels good to be a little bit more important (and that they actually trust me to handle all this stuff and make semi big decisions). The thing is, things have been kind of tight lately in terms of the income. I get a decent salary, and I don't buy much each month, but things just basically barely meet. Dan and I are doing all right though, don't feel too bad for us, we'll make it through... but I was hoping a tiny bit of a raise might come with the promotion... I mean from the person who used to make it, I make roughly 4-5 times less than she did. The good side of this is that we are all almost guaranteed a raise at the end of December apparently in addition to a holiday bonus. This I will find extremely helpful and it is the only thing that makes me wish we were into winter rather than fall... but otherwise I don't because I get cold so easily that I'm already freezing when outside and it's only just begun to be cold everyday.

Speaking of Dan, he's wonderful. I don't know what I would do without him. He's been painting a lot again, which being one of his loves (besides me of course) I'm glad that he's gotten back into it. We all sort of took a break from what we love working on after graduation... everyone sort of needed a break from things, but I, too, am getting back into what I love doing. As many of you know, I love street and sticker art, and I've been putting myself into the world more than ever. I've restarted Sticky Art officially and hope to have a second edition out by mid November. I've been researching and enjoying sticker art a lot lately too and getting back in contact with people I haven't talked to in awhile. Everyone is so inspirational to talk to most of the time, it really gets me excited about my own work and projects too. So that's going pretty well... and in general I've just been sketching and such a lot more too. It's never good to take an artist away from her work for too long I suppose.

So Halloween is fast approaching, it must be since I was in the store last weekend with Concetta and we saw a Christmas display... sigh why must they decorate and push these things so early? I'm excited for having an xmas tree this year though... but wait a minute if I talk too early about this I'm just as bad as them aren't I??? Anyway, we were talking about Halloween. Dan and I were planning on being Han and Leia for Halloween, but I think he's backing out on me... no not because we are nerdy enough as it is, but because he's not sure he wants to spend money on awesome boots that he will never wear otherwise... ok so I added in the awesome... I don't think he thinks they are that awesome (but he should!). We were going to be Han and Leia at the end of A New Hope (the first ORIGINAL movie for those of you who don't know Star Wars that well)... you know the very last scene when Leia awards Luke and Han with the medals? My costume would be simple enough, a cool white gown with sheer white sleeves (that my mom offered to make for me) and a silver necklace and belt that I could probably make from cardboard and tin foil really. It was the hair that was presenting a problem for me. Back in the day my hair was pretty long, down passed my lower back, long enough to make some kind of Leia like hairstyle (at the end of the movie she is wearing one long braid which is already wrapped around on top of her heads twice in two buns and then still goes all the way down her body). Ok, so my hair has never been quite THAT long, but really who would want to keep their hair that long? I don't believe a human girl of 19 could actually grow her hair that long by that age, but I guess in a galaxy far, far away they grown hair more quickly.... So maybe I just wanted to dress my boyfriend up like Han Solo... last year I tried to make him be Indiana Jones but he never ended up being that either. No, believe it or not I don't have a Harrison Ford obsession, though I do like him a lot, I just love both those trilogies and think Dan would make an excellent Han or Indie ;)

Finally, tonight at The Last Drop (the local coffee shop we frequent) I saw a color flyer up for free kittens again. Some of you might or might not know this is how I got my kitten Callie (and Concetta's kitten Pippin) back in the summer. Well, there was no name on the flyer, but what made it catch my eye especially was that the litter (5 kittens) was extremely similar to the one that I got my kitten from (there's was a calico, two stripped gray, and two black and white). Then it was 5 kittens and a mom up for grabs, this time it was the same and I recognized the mom right away... the same mom as my kittens! I was almost sure then I saw the number was the same. Ok, I fell in love even before this (who wouldn't?) but once I realized that I was hooked. Now I'm on a kick again. I'd really like to take the mom or one of those kittens. This litter is another calico, two stripped gray like before, and two mostly all black ones. The mom is a brown stripped cat, she's very pretty and only a couple years old. So I called up the girl tonight who I had been meaning to call anyway to tell her how the kittens were doing and she told me they've been trying to find a home for the mom but they've been keeping her inside for now. They were going to get her fixed but she got out one night... she came back but soon after they found out she was pregnant again, so she had this current litter. They are definitely going to get her fixed now though. The thing is, we'd take another cat (especially her) in a second, but like I mentioned before it's tough to make ends meet now with two cats and we're not sure yet if we can take another one... at the same time, I will never have another chance to give the kittens back their mom (and a cat doesn't cost that much once you get through the startup costs)... yeah I know the kittens don't care as much as me I'm sure, but I still think it would be nice. This girl who has them is very nice, but she has 3 cats already and said she can't keep the mom forever and I would hate to see her go to a shelter because the girl told me after the kittens from my kitten's litter were gone, other people called for them but she could only offer the mom and they said they only wanted kittens... I understand a lot of people are like that, but it is still ashame for older cats and I've always said I would like to adopt a couple year old cat as they have a harder time finding a home and I've already had the kitten experience 5 times now anyway. My cat Hobbes took to Callie (and vice versa) so quickly. Pippin too, as he (Callie's brother) lived with us up until a month or so ago when he went to live with Concetta (who is his owner afterall). I'm glad they got to grow up together and I guess I just hate to think their mom might not have anyplace to go someday. Yeah, I know I'm a sap... but I can't help it I always have been. This goes along with me lately deciding to go back to one of my previous important obsessions which is helping organizations and animal groups. When I was about 12 I joined a lot of these organizations and when other kids were spending their allowance on candy, movies, and video games, well I still was, but I was also putting money towards these groups. Back then it wasn't a tax write off, I didn't pay taxes or even think about them! I just wanted to help. Now, even though times are tough, I want to do what I can here and there. So this timing of mother cat rescue could not be getting to me more. Keep in mind, I only found out about all of this in the passed 5 hours or so, but I don't know that it's going to pass. Will we take her? I don't know. Dan is totally up for more cats, but he knows money is tight and he too is concerned about the money issue. We'll think on it and we'll see what happens, either way I know it'll work out how it has too.

Finally, I will leave you with some thoughts on things web-related. I am planning to redo this site and especially my portfolio... I never really had a chance to make the one I wanted to and now I have even more work to show. I'm also redoing my Sticky Art site and deciding what of my past projects I might want to expand upon further (like Stick Life Comics for instance). So we'll see what happens in the next couple of months. I'm not sure if it'll all just get done suddenly or if I'll find myself doing it little by little (I tend to work better in the former situation), but we'll see. Until then, keep an eye out for updates to the links and "daily look" sections until they get completely redesigned too. And, I know I always say this, but I will try to update more often. So until next time, whenever that may be, may the force be with you! ;)