Monday, December 6, 2005 1:13 am  <|>
<236> Lives Past: Time passes... there is no stopping it, but when you take a moment to look back on what has passed (now the past, by the way the title is not a typo, hehe), sometimes it sets you back a little. I have gone through a lot in the 23 years I've been in this consciousness and while there were plenty of hard times, I've enjoyed it for the most part. I've also made some great friends along the way. Now, before I get into this, I know lots of people probably get to the point of feeling this way about their friends when they are in their early 20s. I don't think I'm that unique in my situation, yet that doesn't really change how I feel about it.

Before I get started, all I really have to say is that I miss those days. The ones when things seemed so different, but different to what you might ask? Different from now? Well of course, everything is different over time, from moment to moment, it's not just that. Those of us that made up a group together, that group has fallen off yet it floats, all around each other, weaving in and out... and I suppose it's better than some... I'm sure some groups disappear completely, but with us, all of us, we linger. None of us really goes away, but we do move around and away from each other, this 'core' group that we might have thought at some point would never break apart. Some of us willingly broke away, at least from certain other parts, and the rest well, time just pulls in different directions. I know this is perfectly natural, but it doesn't change the fact, once again, that I miss those days sometimes.

I see friends who at some point in my life played such an important part now pass through with a quick hello and a how are you doing. I remember 4am conversations that I now see flash by in a crowded bar. Where did we all go? I don't for one minute regret it and I'm glad we are all doing our own thing, but we are so close yet so far away and it is this type of thing, applied to any situation actually, that really gets to you the most.

Oh, by the way, I should be sleeping, but I just had this feeling tonight and felt like writing a bit. I couldn't fall asleep last night until very late - not a good way to start out a Monday. I think I'll head to sleep now, but I will be writing more if I can. In any case, I'm starting to feel like doing it much more, so I suppose that is a start!